A large crash from downstairs.

You heard a loud crash from downstairs and a groan and jumped up- it sounded like someone had tripped, or gotten tripped, and fallen. Possibly breaking something, which was just what you needed-another mess.

You shoved yourself off your bed, going out into the hallways and saw Kankri peeking out of his room.

“Is everything alright, or do we need the trigger-inducing strobelights of an ambulance?” he asked and you shook your head.

“Calm down, Kankri. I’ve got this-just go back to writing your report or whatever” you waved him off and he shrugged, closing the door to his room again.

You descended the stairs carefully, holding the railway- you’d been warned about stairs before. When you got down into the living room, you found everything was normal-huh, that was odd. You could’ve sworn-

CRASH.

Oh. That’s where it was.

You sighed and crossed the living room to a separate hallway, pushing open the door to Signless’s room and peeking in. He was sprawled on the floor, sleeves of his overlarge sweater wrapped around him and wriggling around. He’d managed to knock over his small bookshelf in the corner, probably what made the crash, as well as his clock from the nightstand.

“Gog- what the heck- ughhhh!” he grumbled and wriggled around on the floor. He hadn’t noticed you quite yet.

“…Signless? You okay?” you asked tentatively from the doorway. He twisted so that he could see you, causing him to bump his head again.

“ow. Ow. Ow…. Hey, could you be a sweetheart and help me get untangled?” he asked- he was the nice type of flirt, and it caused your face to turn a light shade of pink.

“I’ll help you, but don’t call me sweetheart” you muttered, going onto your knees and helped him into a sitting position, careful not to hurt his dear sweater in the process.

After several minutes, you found that everything was completely knotted- the sleeves and hood were all tied together, and it was just a mess.  He was nice, and he preached equality with such grace- his words always flowed and he seemed like the most smooth man you could ever meet sometimes! But then others, he could turn out to be a complete derp. Like-now for instance.

“How did you even do this?” you muttered, trying to help him out of the sweater to untangle it.

“I’ve got no clue, honestly- I just put it on, but when I went to straighten it, I tripped on one of the sleeves…” he said, making a squirming motion and getting his arms out before trying to push it over his head. Once off, he looked at it in confusion.

“…____...what happened to my sweater?” he asked, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well….y’see…funny thing-someone left the alchemizer on and I tripped while doing laundry…”

“…And you made everything grow?” he finished and you nodded with a guilty smile.

“sorry.”

“Well…at least its not as bad as when Kankri put too much soap in” he sighed.

“wait, what?”

“Yeah, he was small and he couldn’t lift the soap correctly, resulting in it spilling. He was too proud to ask for help so he just turned it on. An hour later and the house was filled with bubbles. It didn’t help that Karkat was a wriggler at the time- we lost him three times.” He laughed at the memory.

“How’d you find him?” you questioned.

“His hissing. He never used to stop. Anyways- did this happen to the boys sweaters too?” he asked.

“Yep.”

“Anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Good… “ he said, working the sleeves out and holding it up. He looked at it for a minute before sighing again. “Well, I suppose we should ask the Maryam’s about this later.”

You nodded- they were the trolls that were best at fashion type things. You knew Porrim well at least- she was pretty cool.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this anyways?” he asked- he  would’ve rathered you tell him so he could’ve saved himself the trouble of flopping around on the floor- and making a fool of himself in front of you.

“Well…I don’t know…I guess I was just hoping you wouldn’t notice…I was afraid you’d be angry with me” you admitted sheepishly- wow, that actually sounded really stupid now that you said it.

“____, when have you ever known me to really be angry? And at you? Never…” he said gently, wrapping his arms around you gently and pulling you close. You flushed a bright red colour an tensed  for a moment before wrapping your arms back around him and buried your head in his chest.

“…Signless?”

“hmm?”

“…are you…ehheh….purring?” you gave a small giggle.

“Yeah, why?” he asked, just now noticing that he’d started making the low, soft noise.

“Well…its just kinda cool I guess” you shrugged. “So do trolls normally purr, or…?”

“Trolls have different anatomy than humans. Some characteristics of ours are more similar to your tiny pawbeasts- sharp nails and teeth, making hissing sounds when we’re frustrated or angry with someone, or, in this case, purring when we’re content, or happy…or around someone we feel red for.” He chuckled.

“So, which of the above should I put into this situation?” you joked, glad he couldn’t see your ever-darkening blush.

“Try all three” he smiled, pulling you away slightly before cupping your face carefully and pressing his lips gently to yours, melding them together for a few moments. “I’m flushed for you _____”

You gave a sheepish smile back, pecking him on the lips before responding, “Flushed for you too, Signless~”

Needless to say, it took longer than expected to get the Vantas’s sweaters back to their normal size that day.

~Extended Ending (when DON’T I do these?)~

“…You owe me five bucks” Karkat said, stepping away from the door and holding his sweater covered hand out to Kankri.

“No, you said they would kiss. I said they’d get together. They did both. We are henceforth trapped in a neutral situation in which neither of us is wrong, hence unable to point out who owes who money. And its disrespectful to both our father and _____ to spy like this- I’m surprised at you. Have you any idea how many triggers could be taken from this for everyone? Plus, it’s not healthy for someone your age to be so manifested with the love life of our fathe-“

“OH MY GOG. JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.”

“Boys. Its not polite to spy on people!”

“What’s wrong with this family….” You facepalmed.

“Oh, don’t say that ____, we’re VANTAStic!”

Que groan from you, Karkat, and Kankri.